WTF AFTER SUPPOSED SIMPLE COSMETIC OPERATION

1. Have a Nice Day

The good news was a dear bud
With plenty of health issues
Made it into the hospital.

Bad news another close friend
Called to say that twin sister
Has brain cancer……….

Then phoned back two hours
Later sobbing yesterday’s
No-big-deal surgery

Done as just outpatient procedure
Shockingly revealed thigh biopsy
Shows terminal leiomyosarcoma.

Afterward a daughter FaceTimed
To express elation regarding
Both kids so I feel better.

3. Oy agony, and/ or…?

Danny boy picks me up
dressed in slick black suit

wearing cool chauffeur’s hat
& N95 with windows cracked

to drive absolutely Mister Crazy
north on 280 headed toward town

of Colma, zoned as Cemetery Row
across San Mateo–>Hayward Bridge

which Craiger rode on his motorcycle
in the other direction a gazillion+ times

to attend Wednesday night Men’s Group
or Bodhi Tree gatherings in Ger’s meadow.

End of fooling around, pall is settling in as
approaching The [San Lean] Dro, we brothers

don’t know what to expect from dearest buddy
had just learned of malignancy, now attempting

to sus out whether or nada imminent death sentence
who requested while living still easy that three of us

celebrate an ecstatic spring day in sweet tiny backyard
with windswept squeals wafting over neighbors’ fences

I imagine emanating from kids’ 1^st of season wading pool
while Oakland-bound planes zoom in ‘n out among clouds.

Gang of four (sometimes joined by friend’s wonderful wife)
admires exuberantly blooming flowers outside –– as well as

angels, neon + other fishies seemingly so very happily thriving
within humongous tank on way (masked) inside for bathroom breaks.

Although a pity can’t puppy-pile during these Corona virus-laden times
my admittedly original apprehension given real circumstantial exigencies

melts away quickly subsumed under warm relaxed glow of being together
intimately, whether weather turns chill (Rosanna covered each in blankets)

sunny smiles intermixed with comfortable silence expressing such deep love in all directions – devastating sadness banished for this current present moment

capped off by feast of bountiful Bing cherries along with local Ghirardelli chocolates both thoughtful hosts have provided. These ineffable connections exploring new territory

ultimately offer awesome bittersweet satisfaction rather than unadulterated pure happiness — a place to rest from physical and emotional pain with a little grace,
perhaps even wisdom.

But more importantly in Craig’s words, summing up our four hours, “Spectacular joy
and bliss.
Just what I wanted.” Hopefully fuel to store for use during future’s potentially exhausting
process.

5. INTROSPECTIONS [iii]

i.our appallingly tall orders?

traumatically

extruded

from

womb

we were born

plus all die

alone

but

short between

I will be there

you

may want me too

a calling there now

rather

than

Gerard as

their horrible pallbearer later

ii. Hours Of Crisis, Potential Doom

Am I quiet standup guy
You always thought
That Gerard was
—Or is our truth
Less flattering?

And are other mens’
Needs during dark
Nights of the soul
Sufficiently chock
With power to

Compel optimal love
Plus compassion as
Well as sacrificial
Generosity to
Fulfill what

Defines being egoless mensch?

iii.Harvesting Our Good News During Bad Times

When odd Grim Reaper appears,
There is nothing like a dear friend.
One for whom you would do anything.
And vice versa as if were both close relatives
But without any obligatory requirement of blood.

6. GERRY’S VARIOUS FORMALITIES [v]

i.Gerryatric Dating kouta

Nearly seventy-seven,
Consolidating,
End game could come any time
—Main thing’s to be kind.

ii.manhood kouta

John Wayne style appraised — dude hides
self from me — macho,
you pretend should not notice.
that’s how we were raised

iii.who woulda guessed? tanka

we spent that first night
then morning before rest of
our lives together –
though Mom’s initial question’s
Don’tcha know he’ll divorce you?

iv.leiomyosarcoma diagnosed haiku

one day he’s Senior
Basketball League All-Star — next,
leg amputated

v.aspirational haiku

dear Craig, men love you,
try to become better friends.
many sleepless nights…

7.An Ethical Dilemma Without Obvious Answer?

Thousands of nurses
Strike
Ostensibly for safer
Pandemic
Protection plus patient
Staffing

But management claims
Wages
At issue but arguably already
Higher
Than elsewhere and so lockout
Picketers

All of which, if we were talking
Kleenex
Or candy bar factories collective
Bargaining
Ger supports workers: now it’s about
People

Who are sick — might die without hospital care.

8. ChumpCare?

Chimp trained as a vigorous general internist
In a much much earlier era

Before primary care medicine’s hollowed out
(Which having been an HMO

Takecare exec you take some responsibility for
But that’s whole ‘nother story)

Now well past my salad days, I am attempting
To help equally or older aged

Friends navigate their way through healthcare
System gives ‘em zilch support

Or resources needed to have a fighting chance
For achieving optimal survival.

Currently serve too many buddies + loved ones
Seem recently to have lost track

Of numbers…during spare time, mozy over to
Access personal options locally

Regards when partner (maybe Ger?) becomes
1^st to require own out-of-home

Facilities: it suddenly occurs to me there is big
Premium if institution (ugh hate

Such concept!) for Senior Living as adjacent
Assisted Living, Memory Care

& then Skilled Nursing so whoever goes down
Those proverbial tubes 2^nd can

Walk right next door to take care of/ continue to
Fancy spouse without necessity

To rely on ability to drive or someone else to do
In order to retain independence

Allows us not to be rushed visiting his/her mate.
Soon’ll review plans with our kids

Begin to understand options (one prefers crawl into
Hole, disappear; whereas other seeks

Thrive ‘longside grand/children) — start negotiation.

Gerard Sarnat has been nominated for the pending Science Fiction Poetry Association Dwarf Star Award, won San Francisco Poetry’s 2020 Contest, the Poetry in the Arts First Place Award plus the Dorfman Prize, and has been nominated for handfuls of Pushcarts plus Best of the Net Awards. Gerry is widely published including in 2023 San Diego Poetry Annual, 2022 Awakenings Review, 2022 Arts & Cultural Council of Bucks County Celebration, 2022 Rio Grande Valley International Poetry Festival Anthology, Pocket Samovar, Free State, The Broken City, Sandy River Review, Three Rooms Press/Maintenant, New World Writing, The Font, BigCityLit, HitchLit Review, Lowestoft, Washington Square Review, The Deronda Review, Jewish Writing Project, Hong Kong Review, Tokyo Poetry Journal, Buddhist Poetry Review, Gargoyle, Main Street Rag, New Delta Review, Arkansas Review, Hamilton-Stone Review, Northampton Review, New Haven Poetry Institute, Texas Review, Vonnegut Journal, Brooklyn Review, San Francisco Magazine, Monterey Poetry Review, The Los Angeles Review, and The New York Times as well as by NYU, Slippery Rock, Northwestern, Pomona, Harvard, Stanford, Dartmouth, Penn, Columbia, North Dakota, McMaster, Maine, University of British Columbia and University of Chicago and University of Virginia presses. He is a Harvard College and Medical School-trained physician who’s built and staffed clinics for the marginalized as well as a Stanford professor and healthcare CEO. Currently he is devoting energy/ resources to deal with climate justice, and serves on Climate Action Now’s board. Gerry’s been married since 1969 with progeny consisting of four collections (Homeless Chronicles: From Abraham To Burning Man, Disputes, 17s, Melting the Ice King) plus three kids/ six grandsons — and is looking forward to potential future granddaughters. gerardsarnat.com